


Wise Counsel

by Ghyste



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Complete, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghyste/pseuds/Ghyste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even when the Council's a secret, it's always good to be prepared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wise Counsel

To: Elrond Halfelven  
Lord of Rivendell

CC: Glorfindel

27 Firith 3018 TA

 

**COUNCIL OF ELROND: HANDLING BRIEF**

 

1\. Following yesterday's meeting to discuss the various options for action in respect of the One Ring, I have prepared a handling brief for tomorrow's Council.

2\. First and foremost we have agreed that under no circumstances should any consequences of the decisions taken tomorrow be attributable to the Noldor. We have worked long and hard to reduce the public perception, arising from Celebrimbor's unfortunate involvement in the Second Age, that the Noldor are somehow responsible for Sauron's actions. 

3\. As previously discussed, it is clear that there is only one real solution to the threat posed by the re-emergence of the One Ring: To wit, that it be taken to Mordor and cast into the fiery chasm from whence it came. However, this option carries with it a high degree of critical risk and it would be best for all concerned that the Council should appear to reach this conclusion during the course of discussion. To this end I propose that Glorfindel and I should open up the debate by making some easily dismissible suggestions along the lines of throwing it into the sea.

4\. I am confident that we can rely upon the representatives from Gondor to propose that The Ring be used as a weapon of mass destruction. Opposing this proposal will have a twofold benefit. Firstly, it will establish your anti-war credentials in advance any potential Public Enquiry over the planned limited conflict in the south. Secondly, it will allow your Foster Son to be the 'voice of reason' and lay the foundations for a future electoral campaign should any of the scions of the House of Stewards survive.

5\. Once the Council has accepted the inevitability of taking The Ring to Mordor, we will need to decide who should undertake the mission. A recent focus group endorsed your idea that the party should represent as many of the different races of Middle-earth as possible. However, it has rejected your suggestion of "Strike-force Certain Death" as a title in favour of the more consumer friendly "Fellowship of the Ring".

6\. With regard to the members of the Fellowship, I would reiterate my earlier recommendations relating to the public profile of the Noldor. I believe that we should waive our rights to membership in favour of one of the Silvan delegates and will drawn up a list of compelling reasons why the members of your Household are totally unsuitable for the mission. 

7\. For the role of Ringbearer, I would suggest that one of the Halflings be persuaded that it is their duty to volunteer. This should be a politically neutral choice and could be justified on the grounds that, unlike the men and dwarves, they did not fall for Sauron's wiles in the Second Age (the fact that it is unlikely that Sauron knew of their existence need not be raised). Lacking any sort of standing army, they would also make a handy scapegoat in the event of catastrophe. Also, being vertically challenged you can claim to be giving equal status to minority groups. 

8\. On that latter point, I regret that I have been unable to identify any potential female members of the Fellowship. Should this lead to a media backlash, you will have to resort to our usual fall-back position of claiming that you thought that the dwarvish representative was a girl. 

 

Erestor  
Chief Counsellor


End file.
